Together

I find it very hard to believe that even in today's fast-paced, selfish society, that there isn't someone for everyone.  Matter of fact, I believe that in life, some people find that someone early in life and others will have to endure the emotional rollercoaster of several relationships before finding that someone. 

Why do I say this? 

All I have to do is take a long hard look at my daddy and my momma. 

Take a man and woman who each have led hard lives, separately, for many years.  Each had been broken in some way, whether it be emotionally, physically or psychologically.  Despite the scars, they found each other.  Each with a broken wing, they have healed each other, in more ways than one.  While keeping a hold of themselves.  Neither one has forgotten where they came from nor have they let the past interfere with what they have now.

I am not saying that my parents are perfect.  I am not saying that when they met each other and started their relationship, that they didn't have issues.  And I am not saying that they don't or won't have issues or problems to face.  You know what the important part is?  They face it all together.  Regardless of the problem, they always seem to meld together and come out of the problems a little bit stronger than before. 

Every morning, my daddy leaves my momma a note of some sort.  Things like, "I got up early."......"Running to the store.  Be back in a few."......"Didn't want to wake you."...."I love you."   Of course this is not all inclusive.  Because in order to write down and copy all of the notes he leaves for her would equate to a novel.  She has kept all of these notes he has written down.  I swear.  She has damn near every last one of them.  And, may a higher power help the person who throws one away. 

Now don't get me wrong, my daddy isn't all that squishy all the time.  But he does have the soft spot for that woman of his.

She keeps him grounded.  When I say grounded, I mean it takes alot to take care of a Tracy.  We are hard to love, we are bullheaded and we are hard to budge if our mind is set to it.  It is definitely one of the hardest jobs.  I give her tons of kudos.  Because without her, he wouldn't know what was happening when, wouldn't have someone to nurse his wounds when he hurts himself on the pumper truck, or someone to get on to him when he isn't eating right.  And may a higher power help the person who says the wrong thing or looks at her crosswise.

I can see it in their faces when they look at each other.  It is that knowing look.  That look of being completely disarmed at each other's smile, the sincerity in the other's eyes.  The hugs, snuggles and kisses.  And holy crap!  The texts and phonecalls.  You would think that they were high schoolers sometimes.  Or newlyweds.  But they are neither.  They have something that no one else they had come across had for each of them, but only for each other.  They found the happiness they were looking for and ran.  They know that they can count on each other.  They know that whatever comes their way, they are together.

Nothing else matters. 

I love you momma and daddy.  Happy Valentine's Day. 

CCG

Re-evaluations

I have written before on the importance of communication, compromise and compassion in a relationship.  I fully believe in those three words and what they mean.

I have thought and thought and thought.  My brain currently hurts and the smoke is coming out of my ears.  I know that this is kind of the norm for me, however, I am in the middle of re-evaluating my past serious relationships to see if there is are similarities.  I don't know how far I will get, but I will try to get a grip on it. 

Ending a relationship regardless of size over e-mail or text seems to be the normal anymore.  I will admit I ended my first marriage with an email due to the lack of communication and support given at the time on his side.  I had no other way to converse and the phone calls were going unanswered.  I feel I failed that situation and should have waited to come home to talk to him.  Plain and simple.  However, my mind wasn't in the right place due to a harsh deployment and tensions between home and deployed location were taut.  However, I do not regret it.  It happened the way it did.  I learned a valuable lesson in communication and compromise this time. 

My second marriage ended over a text.  Once again the phone calls were going unanswered and the texts were too.  We were states apart and one side could not handle the military lifestyle.  So instead of facing the problem, it simmered.  When I say simmer, there was no communication from his side for weeks.  I couldn't take being overwhelmed with the sense of being oulandishly ignored and the feeling of worthlessness and not knowing what the other person wants.  He didn't want to communicate nor have the compassion to understand that marriage and love is commitment regardless of where we were at.  So he wanted a divorce but could not talk about it or at least give a call.  Or show in person.  Learned a lesson here about compassion and communication. 

I have currently been dating this guy.  I thought that we had all three down pat.  I put my foot down on these three ideas and he seemed to agree with it.  Until we had a crisis.  All three are immediately put in the backseat and once again, the texts and the phone calls are ignored.  Learned a lesson on all three here.

Do you see where this is going?  There is a pattern here.

Texts, emails, phone calls and speaking in person can make or break your relationships.  If you can't talk in person, the next best thing is to talk over the phone.  A relationship should never boil down to social media or texts.  Texts don't convey enough and emails can be very impersonal.  Social media is the lowest form in my book.  Venting purposes, yes I can understand, on the other hand trying to fix it, don't think that is the best way to hande it. 

I am still currently re-evaluating all of the above.  I may have it right but I also may have it wrong.  I know that communicating to your loved one is very hard but it gets harder too if the significant other doesn't do it at all.

CCG